


My Family is Dysfunctional But We Have a Good Time Killing Each Other

by Squeeb100



Category: Tsubasa: Reservoir Chronicle
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, Character Analysis, Confusion, Drinking, Harry Potter AU, Hogwarts, Humor, idioms, tsubasa month
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-01
Updated: 2018-05-06
Packaged: 2019-04-30 10:09:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 6,765
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14494650
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Squeeb100/pseuds/Squeeb100
Summary: A collection of my responses to the Tsubasa Month 2018 prompts which may or may not actually be updated every day in May because until May 20 my life is a nightmare. Nobody actually dies in these it's called this because that's my tag for the Tsubasa Family on Tumblr.Title from "Secrets" by Mary Lambert





	1. Syaoran (May 1)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not ready for this level of commitment to a project.

That kid has fire in his eyes. The first time I really looked at him, I could see it. It’s his fierce determination, his motivation to do whatever it takes, that reminds me of myself. From the first moment of this journey he was willing to do anything for the princess. He sacrificed his most precious relationship for a chance to save her. It’s admirable, to love a person that much. To be willing to sacrifice anything for them, just to know that they’re safe, even if it breaks your bond forever.

The boy has had some training, clearly, in the martial arts. He struggles to wield a sword, but excels in hand-to-hand combat. Passion and raw skill aren’t everything, though. The world will crush his spirit.

He’s young and stupid. He makes rash and foolish decisions. For the sake of what he believes is just, I’ve seen the kid leap into dangerous situations without calculation. His emotions have no place on the battlefield, and the burns on his arms in Hanshin, the wounded leg in Koryo, that’s proof. Someday, he’ll rush to his death.

I don’t like him, but he’s grown on me since we met. I’d like to train him. In the end, it doesn't matter to me whether he lives or dies, but still, I hope he turns out okay.

***

Of all the people I have met in my long, long life, Syaoran loves the most fiercely. Not a scrap of selfishness in that boy, I think; his decision at Yuuko’s shop is proof enough of that. His primary goal is the restoration of his most important person, and no matter how much it pains him, no matter how much he hurts or suffers or cries when he thinks he’s alone in the world, he won’t stop until he’s accomplished it. He’s kinder than he knows, and more giving than even he thinks.

Syaoran is very gentle, though, and I do fear for his safety. He’s skilled, but so young, and very reckless, and I’m afraid that his actions will someday land him in more trouble than he can deal with. I know he’s a pawn of that man, but he doesn't, not yet, and someday it’s going to blow up in all our faces and he’ll be the one hurt worst of all. It’s unbearable that he doesn't know. Even fabricated, he’s still a person, and he believes his actions are of his own volition. 

I suppose we all do, to some extent.

This is the way things must be. This is the way things are, and I cannot change them and I do not want to because no one, not even Syaoran, who seems to pride himself on his pursuit of what is just and honorable, would do the right thing if they knew what the consequences were.

But until the day comes when this ends, I’ll help him along. Syaoran feels alone in the world, and the least anyone can do is give him a shoulder to cry on when he gets that sad, distant look.

***

When Mokona first met Syaoran, Mokona knew he was going to be Mokona’s friend! Syaoran is brave, and kind, and loyal, and in love with Sakura, which Mokona knows because Yuuko said Sakura is Syaoran’s most important person, and that means he loves her very much. The other Mokona is Mokona’s most important person, and Mokona loves Mokona very very much, so that must mean Syaoran feels the same way about Sakura!

But even though Sakura is Syaoran’s favorite person, he has lots and lots of love for everyone else in his heart, too! Syaoran lets Mokona sit in his lap when he reads, and Syaoran talks to Mokona like Mokona is a person just like Syaoran and Kurogane and Fai and Sakura, and even when Syaoran is very sad, and feels very alone and scared and stressed, he’s a very nice person and is always there for Mokona to talk to, so Mokona knows that Mokona loves Syaoran very very much already.

***

I sleep a lot. I feel tired all the time. The others say it’s because I lost my memories, and we’re on a journey to find them. My name is Sakura. The others say I’m a princess. I’m on a journey with three men and a cute little creature called Mokona. The first person I met when I woke up was Syaoran-kun. He’s the youngest of the other four, and he has warm brown eyes.

Syaoran-kun seems like a very nice person. I have only a few memories back, but he was the person who got both of them for me (though the others helped, of course). Everyone is very kind, but Syaoran-kun seems the most special. Talking to him feels natural.

It’s kind of funny, how close I already feel to such a complete stranger.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi it's me and when I try to write in character voices I just end up mashing the same sentence structure together 1000 times


	2. Sakura (May 2)

All the experience I have with princesses, and you’d think handling this one would come easier to me. But this princess, Sakura, is the furthest thing from what I’ve come to expect that I’d’ve thought possible. Where Tomoyo is confident, Sakura is meek. Where Tomoyo is cunning, Sakura is straightforward and kind of an airhead. It could be the missing memories, but she’s different than other people I've met. I don’t know how to talk to her. In her lack of experience and knowledge the princess is childlike, and it isn’t as charming as everyone else thinks it is. 

Another thing: the princess seems upset by violence. Violence is the one thing I excel at. And she falls asleep at the worst times, which hinders our progress and could be dangerous. She’s a liability, and I’m only carrying her because if I didn’t we’d sacrifice speed and precious time. I’m only helping retrieve the girl’s memory feathers because the faster we find them, the faster we can leave, and the longer we travel the greater chance there is we’ll end up in Nihon. All I want is to go home. I don’t care about these people.

But I do worry when the princess falls asleep suddenly. She could hit her head someday.

***

The first time I spoke with Sakura, I was terrified, because with the first word out of her mouth I was attached, and attachment isn’t something I can afford. Attachment to any of my traveling companions is the very last thing I can afford, and I’ve already doubled my efforts to distance myself from them.

I didn’t expect it to be this hard. 

Sakura has the kindest eyes and brightest smile I think I’ve ever seen, and I know that whenever she walks into a room, she makes people’s hearts sing. In the first few worlds we traveled to, Sakura was sleepy and forgetful, and it was difficult for all of us to see her wake up confused every time we switched worlds in her sleep. Recently, however, she’s grown more alert, more alive, and I sometimes forget that she, too, is a fabricated person. I forget that she doesn't remember anything. Sakura, for all the memories she has lost, has a remarkably strong and charming personality. She supported Chun’yan when the other young girl cried for the loss of her mother. She stands up for what she thinks is right. She’s cheerful with each one of us even without reason to be, and I know it’s genuine; Sakura genuinely feels this much love for each of her traveling companions, whom she barely knows.

Sakura demonstrated a strength I hadn’t expected in Jade, when she followed the children into the castle. Without her, those children would never have been found. Without Sakura, the golden-haired princess would be forever blamed for her act of selflessness.

I’ve already fallen for this girl, and my drive to help her retrieve her feathers is real. Every time her green eyes flutter shut, every time she collapses after absorbing part of her soul, I hope honestly and truly that whatever she is remembering is pleasant.

***

Right when Sakura woke up, Mokona knew that Mokona liked her! Mokona likes Sakura just as much as Mokona likes Syaoran, but for different reasons. Sakura is very sweet and loving, and Mokona likes to sleep in Sakura’s bed the best of anyone’s. Sakura gives Mokona rubs behind the ears and pats Mokona on the head, and even though Sakura sleeps a lot, Mokona can feel what she’s like on the inside, and she’s a very good person--that’s one of Mokona’s 108 Secret Techniques! Mokona can know what somebody is like on the inside, and Mokona knows that Sakura is very kind, very sweet, and very determined. She likes every person very much, and she really really wants to get her memories back! Sakura tries her very hardest every day, and sometimes Sakura gets frustrated that she can’t help Syaoran, Kurogane and Fai very much because she’s always falling asleep. When Sakura gets that feeling inside, Mokona is sure to pay her extra special attention, because Sakura deserves it!

***

I knew it was going to be hard, when Sakura forgot who I was. I knew it was going to be hard, and still I didn’t expect it to hurt this much. 

Sakura is a shell of herself. Her eyes are dull and vacant. She’s often confused. She can’t stay awake. The others seem to love her already, but I wish they could see the real her, the vibrant, stubborn, selfless girl I fell in love with. I love Sakura no matter what, of course, and with each feather she absorbs, the more like her former self she becomes. I would give anything to see that girl again, so I’ll do everything I can to return each and every memory that Sakura has lost, even knowing that none of them are of me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I kinda did Kurogane dirty with this one but I think it does take him a lot longer to become invested in people. He's also still very much in denial about having feelings. I'm currently writing a different fic that splits the family off into groups that they aren't normally alone in (Kurogane with Sakura and Syaoran with Fai) to examine the relationships they have to each other, and Kurogane and Sakura are very difficult to write. They barely interact in canon. What do they do. Help.
> 
> Kudos are sweet, but comments are sweeter!


	3. Mokona (May 3)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had fun with the italics this time

That pork bun is a nuisance, that’s all it is, and I’d be glad to get rid of it. It taunts me relentlessly and steals my food and can’t do a decent job of transporting us even though that’s the one damn job it has. It’s picked up the mage’s habit of calling me dumb names and its favorite hiding place is inside my cloak, and if the dumb creature disappeared one day without a trace, I wouldn't mind. Not at all.

It’s unfortunate that we need that thing to travel. I rely on a talking pork bun to return me to my home. I _rely_ on a _talking pork bun_ to translate what my traveling companions are saying. That thing has the power to kill us through a single misunderstanding.

Well...

Huh.

We haven’t died yet.

***

Mokona is incredibly skilled at what she does because Mokona is an incredibly high-level magic being. Yuuko’s power and creativity is outstanding. The fact stands alone that Yuuko has managed to give life to a creature with real sentience-- _real_ sentience, real consciousness, as though Chii can experience emotions on some level, she is incapable of true decision-making or problem-solving or any true higher level cognition--but even more amazing is the amount of magical power she was able to imbue that creation with.

I’ve crossed dimensions before with other people, but my absolute limit is two beings aside from myself, and even then such a feat would exhaust me entirely. Anything more might kill me. Mokona is instinctively able to transport herself _in addition_ to four humans. Her magic is woven differently than that of others who can cross dimensions. It’s as if she’s found a shortcut, a way to bend planes until they’re directly next to each other so all she has to do is help us pass through a wall. I’ve been trying to parse out how Yuuko could have created such a creature, how such a creature exists at all, and so far have been unable. Creating life is already nearly an impossible feat. Creating Mokona...well. 

***

Mokona’s translation abilities are incredible! I was lost in my worries for Sakura and my grief over our broken bond for the majority of our stay in the Hanshin Republic, and didn’t stop to even consider how Kurogane, Fai and I could understand each other, as we seemed to come from such different countries. When I realized that it had been Mokona translating all along, I was shocked! I don’t know much about magic, but I’ve read a bit, and never come across any translation spell more complicated than rearranging words on a page. Mokona somehow takes all of our dialogue in and spits it back out in a language that each person can understand.

Well, actually, my current theory is that instead of translating everything everyone says into separate languages, she somehow translates everything into the language of the country we’re in. I realized this might be the case when I noticed that Kurogane and Fai’s accents changed, becoming stronger and weaker depending on the country we were in. Kurogane had less of an accent in Koryo, and Fai had a weaker accent in Jade. I assume this was because their native languages are more similar to the languages of these countries.

I don’t know much about magic, but it truly amazes me that it’s able to do _this_. Though there are occasionally misunderstandings, Mokona’s translation matrix seems fantastic, and I’d love to know how it works.

***

Mokona is very cute, even though I'm not sure what she is. I haven’t seen anything like her in any world we’ve traveled to, with her big blue eyes and fuzzy little ears. The thing I can best compare her to is a rabbit. A little fuzzy rabbit, one that talks and squeaks and isn’t afraid of humans at all--in fact, Moko-chan loves everybody! When I’m tired or upset, she always seems to know, and she sits in my lap or cuddles in the crook of my arm. Sometimes the others need to leave to do something while I'm asleep, and if they don't need her help, Moko-chan will stay to make sure I know it’s okay when I wake up.

Mokona is the one helping us cross worlds. Syaoran-kun said that Moko-chan is also the one who helps us understand each other, because without her, we would all be speaking different languages! I think that's amazing, and I told her so. She said it was easy; Moko-chan is funny like that. She knows what to say to make you laugh, and always does silly things to cheer people up. Moko-chan loves people.

Some people in worlds we visit think Mokona is our pet, like a dog or a cat, but she isn’t. She’s our friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know these aren't the best written things in the world and my sentence structure variety is a little bit ew but that's because I am literally CRANKING these out. Like a couple a day, a couple days ahead, because I decided on a whim on APRIL 30TH that I wanted to do this and now I'm paying the price. I'm paying the price and I should be studying for AP tests *cough*BC Calculus*cough* instead of writing kind of okay fanfiction but this is the choice I've made.
> 
> Suffixes: Sakura switches back-and-forth on using suffixes for Mokona, Syaoran doesn't use suffixes for Sakura at all when he thinks about her, and Fai tends not to use them much at all. This is a creative choice I made and it's on purpose and it's going to keep happening until these first few character days are over with.
> 
> Kudos are sweet, but comments are sweeter!


	4. Kurogane (May 4)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello and welcome back to A Lot of Italics, this time featuring Excessive Parentheses!

I only barely noticed Fai-san and Kurogane-san when we first met at the Dimensional Witch’s shop; I was too preoccupied with my fear for Sakura to pay much attention to my newly-assigned traveling companions. When I did first talk to them (I believe our conversation was about fruit? I don’t remember much of the Hanshin Republic, unfortunately), I was taken aback by Kurogane-san’s gruffness. He was grumbly and confrontational, itching for a fight. I think he was frustrated by whatever had happened in his own country, and was venting by lashing out at Mokona and Fai (who were antagonizing him anyway) and enemy Kudan. I didn’t know what to make of him, and I didn’t know if I trusted him.

He was the same in Koryo, and in Fog Country. Angry, loud, gruff. But in each country we visited, he always fought to protect us, and I grew to trust him, bit by bit.

Here, in Outo, we’re a team; while Sakura, Fai and Mokona work at the cafe, Kurogane-san and I are out hunting Oni. Kurogane-san seems to like Outo the best of any country we’ve stayed in so far--I think it’s the most like his home. He misses his home greatly, even though he tries not to show it. He wants to return to his own country more than anything in the world; he gave up his most treasured possession to travel with us on the off-chance that we someday reach it. I hope we do.

Kurogane-san may be closed-off and gruff, but I respect him for his courage and his strength. Even if he doesn't always show it, he cares for us, and would do anything to keep any one of us safe. He’s a strong fighter, and I respect him for that--he’s teaching me how to wield a sword properly, and though his teaching methods are a little unconventional, I’ve thoroughly enjoyed my lessons with him. I admire most things about Kurogane-san, but most of all, I admire his heart.

***

That man is a threat.

That man is a _threat._

But he’s cute, and so fun to play with.

***

Kurogane-san scared me a bit when I first met him. He’s huge and towering and carries a big sword that he seems eager for the chance to use. Fai-san and Moko-chan assured me that he was nothing to worry about, but I worried about him a little bit anyway.

I quickly realized that he’s nothing but a big softie.

Kurogane-san looks threatening on the outside, but deep down he isn’t. He gets worried every time he thinks one of us is hurt, and does his best to make sure we don’t. He loves the manga books that show up in every country we visit, and always rushes to buy them in whatever form they come because he likes the story and wants to know what happens next. There’s a princess back in his home country who he must love a lot, because he’s willing to put himself through this for her. And for me--I’m still a little confused about why all of these people are traveling with me, helping me get my memories back. I assumed at first that they were people from my past, who wanted to take care of me because they were my friends, but I haven’t recovered a single memory with any of them in it.

That doesn't really matter, though, does it? Kurogane-san will protect and help me for his own reasons, and I’ll do my best to help him. I can’t fight very well, and I can’t really learn because I still fall asleep a lot, but I do everything I can to help with things that aren’t fighting.

Kurogane-san is a little scary sometimes, but I like him a lot anyway.

***

Kuro-rin is a big, big man, one of the biggest Mokona’s ever seen! And he’s always growly like a big, mean dog, which is why Fai calls him Big Dog. But even though Kuro-chi yells at Mokona and calls Mokona a pork bun and swats at her every time she tries to snuggle, Mokona likes him a lot. Mokona can feel that Kuro-woof feels bad inside sometimes, because he really wants to help people and he doesn't know how. Kuro-run acts all big and mean, but inside he’s very sad and misses his home very much. He may never call anyone their real name, and he may yell and grump all the time, but Mokona has seen the way Kuro-chu looks at Fai, and Sakura and Syaoran, and even Mokona sometimes, and Mokona can tell that he cares about them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This will get posted on Friday, so happy weekend! 
> 
> Kudos are sweet, but comments are sweeter!


	5. Fai (May 5)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one turned out well, I think, which is really weird. It's a combination of me being TIRED OF WRITING THESE CHARACTER THINGS and loving Fai more than anything so it turned out weird. It somehow seems to flow better than the other ones, though, which is...interesting. 
> 
> This one kinda has favorite-character complex, not gonna lie

There’s something wrong with the mage. 

I knew from the beginning that he wasn’t quite right in the head; he laughs in the face of his death and dances around me, calling me stupid names like I’m a cute girl. Sometimes, he trails off in the middle of a conversation and just stares into the distance. Sometimes he interrupts someone else’s conversation because he’s found another dumb, frivolous thing to point out. He taunts me as if he doesn't realize I could snap his skinny neck in a heartbeat.

But it’s not what the idiot does that pisses me off so bad. It’s what he doesn't do. He always seems to know something that we don’t, and while the kid cracks it up to intelligence or experience, I’m not sure that’s always the case. I’m not sure the mage has been telling us the truth.

Well, obviously the mage hasn’t been telling the truth. He doesn't talk about his life or his past or his goals, and downplays his skill and intelligence at every opportunity. But I’m starting to think that he’s outright lied to us about other things, and if they’re things we need to know to stay safe or do what we have to do, I’m going to get the truth out of him.

I’m worried about the group, because I’m not sure Fai is doing the right thing. But I’m even more worried about him, because I’ve seen how little he cares for himself, and I’ve watched him nearly die three times now.

I hate him and his fluffy coat and his dumb heeled shoes and his stupid laugh and sapphire eyes and his lies and cheats and nicknames and waste-of-time games.

***

Mokona loves having 108 Secret Techniques most of the time, but sometimes Mokona wishes they would go away. Like when Fai is sad. Mokona can feel what people feel like on the inside, and Mokona knows that sometimes, even when Fai is laughing and joking and acting happy, he’s very sad and scared and sometimes angry inside. Mokona doesn't know why a person who felt that bad inside would act so happy all the time. Mokona doesn't _like_ it.

***

A few things I’ve learned about Fai-san from watching him: he’s brilliant. He’s funny. He’s playful. He’s kind. He’s experienced with fighting and knows how to employ war tactics. He can cook. He speaks more than one language, but none that we’ve run across yet in our travels.

A few things I have yet to learn about Fai-san: where he comes from. What he wants. Why he’s running. Who he _is._

I was initially more inclined to trust Fai than Kurogane-san, because his demeanor is overall more trustworthy. He made me feel secure and respected, but the longer I thought about it, the more I realized that his every action was calculated. And for a while, I didn’t know what to do about him.

Gradually, however, I saw the kindness he shows Sakura, and the support he gives me, and I realized that even if he’s a little odd, even if he’s _bizarre,_ he’s genuinely one of the better people I’ve met. I respect him in almost every way, and trust him wholly, because I can feel that he would never do anything to hurt us.

***

Fai-san and Moko-chan have been joking recently about us being a family, where Kurogane-san is the father and Fai-san is the mother, and Syaoran-kun, Moko-chan and I are the children. It’s just a joke, of course, but of all the people in the group, Fai-san really is most like my memory of my mother.

In Hanshin, when I had no memories and felt tired and alone, Fai-san sat next to me (with Moko-chan, of course) and put his hand on my shoulder and let me talk about how I was feeling. I needed a hug, and he let me hug him. Before Mokona whisked us away to another world, Fai lent me his coat, and told me that we didn’t know if it might be cold in the next world. Fai-san has lent me his coat several times since then, sometimes to use as a blanket. It’s very soft and warm and it smells nice and sometimes I just want to burrow into it and never come out.

Syaoran-kun feels the very most special to me, and Moko-chan is sweet, and Kurogane-san is brave and protects me, but if I need someone to talk to, I go to Fai-san.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're reading this on Saturday, I'm currently studying and crying. 
> 
> Kudos are sweet, but comments are sweeter!


	6. Lost in Translation (May 6: Crack/comedy/memes)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't know how to write "memes" so I just birthed this monstrosity instead.

The door shut gently; Kurogane and Fai, sitting on the floor and speaking in hushed tones, looked up as Syaoran entered the room Kyle Rondart had lent them. Mokona slept on the bed, a small white lump. 

“What’s he doing?” Kurogane asked.

“He’s at his desk, writing medical records,” Syaoran replied, sitting on the carpet with them so they were all facing each other. “I talked to him for a bit, but he seemed in a hurry to finish the discussion and return to his work.”

Shaking his head slowly, Fai stared up and out the window at the snow that had begun to fall. “I suspect there are owls in this bog,” he confessed. Syaoran glanced at Kurogane in confusion; the look he received in return told him that Kurogane was just about done with Fai’s nonsense. Failing to notice their bewilderment, Fai continued. “There’s a dog buried here.”

“What, in the bog?” Kurogane asked sardonically. 

“What bog?” Fai’s voice was light and innocent and his confusion seemed honest. His tone of voice was not generally the one he assumed to mess with Kurogane; he still seemed to be thinking seriously about their predicament.

The furrow in Kurogane’s brow grew deeper than Syaoran would have thought possible as the large man looked at Syaoran once, twice, three times, gesturing helplessly. Are you hearing this?

Shrugging, Syaoran turned to Fai, who laughed lightly at the ninja’s antics. “What’s going on?” the wizard asked. “Are you feeling quite alright, Kuro-rin?” 

Kurogane looked like he was about to vomit, or kill someone.

“I’m sorry, Fai-san,” Syaoran spoke up, “but we’re not entirely sure what you’re talking about. You said something about owls in a bog and then told us there was a dead dog. We’re a little confused.”

Fai looked a little confused himself for a few moments before a look of realization crossed his face and he grinned. “Oh, those are figures of speech in my country,” he laughed, flapping a hand as if to wave away their confusion. “I meant that there’s something suspicious about Dr. Kyle, and that there’s more to this than there seems to be.”

“Well, quit it,” Kurogane demanded. “It’s confusing everyone.”

“Mokona translates words literally,” Syaoran realized, “but idioms can’t be translated. So we hear the literal meaning of the idiom without understanding its connotations. That’s fascinating!”

“That’s really great. Can we please get back to the conversation we were already having?” Kurogane asked impatiently, tapping his fingers against his boot. He turned to Syaoran with a look that said I expected better of you. “Aren’t you the one who’s panicked about the princess going missing? And we can’t just assume that it was Rondart. What evidence is there? He treats those kids like it wouldn’t hurt to put them in his eye.”

“I’m sorry?” Fai and Syaoran asked in unison, Syaoran’s voice breaking on the question.

Kurogane paused, thought about it, then gave a long-suffering sigh. “He seems to love them,” he translated. Syaoran nodded, looking considerably relieved.

“Well, we can’t necessarily take his actions as an indicator of his honesty,” Fai pointed out, exercising immense self-control and ignoring the obvious humor in the situation. “But, say he is innocent. Our other suspects are Grosum-san, then an actual ghost.”

“I don’t think it was Grosum,” Syaoran interjected. “I know he was wet like he’d tried to swim the river, but he doesn't seem like the kind of person to commit such a crime. Maybe he was trying to find the missing children.”

“That could certainly be the case,” Fai mused.

“Well, even if he is innocent, he doesn't know that we are,” Kurogane pointed out gruffly. “If we want to get into that castle, and he doesn't know that we don’t want to hurt the kids, he could turn out to be a real lump above our eye.”

Fai made a sound like he was dying, then doubled over, shaking in silent laughter. Syaoran didn’t understand what was happening; they’d never had translation errors like this before, so why now? Why were so many idioms necessary today?

Fai was still shuddering in laughter when Kurogane realized what had happened. “He could get in our way!” he bellowed, and Fai shushed him shakily, eyes wide. Syaoran cringed; Kyle was still in the house, and had undoubtedly heard that.

“Guys, we have to be quiet,” Syaoran whispered frantically. “Kyle could hear us.” The others nodded and took a few moments to compose themselves. When they seemed calm enough to continue, Syaoran attempted to restart the discussion.

“There are reasons both Kyle and Grosum-san could be innocent,” he stated. “How do we find out if they are?”

“Get them to speak with their bellies cut open, through whatever means necessary,” Kurogane replied coolly. 

Fai wheezed. “Oh, I’m sure that will work out fine just as soon as the lobster whistles on top of a mountain!” He was doing it on purpose now, Syaoran was sure of it. Tears were streaming down Fai’s face now, he was laughing so hard.

“What are you talking about?!” 

“Hush!” Syaoran commanded the two older men, but it was too late. The door creaked open. The guilt on Fai and Kurogane’s faces was hysterical.

“Is everything quite alright in here?” Kyle Rondart’s voice was soft with concern as he peered around the corner. Syaoran nodded quickly and Fai made a frantic gesture to dismiss the doctor. “Are you crying, Mr. Fluorite?” Kyle asked. Fai shook his head. “Oh, well, what’s the matter?” Kyle asked, stepping in. “Cat got your tongue?”

Syaoran made the use of idioms illegal among their traveling group from that moment on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was an idea that I put in a post about Tsubasa, language and culture about a year ago and wanted to expand on and this was not exactly my plan but it turned out fun. 
> 
> I looked up some idioms in the languages I headcanon the characters speaking, chose my favorites, then built a story around it. Here are the idioms:
> 
> \- Att ana ugglor i mossen – Suspecting owls in the bog (Swedish; means that you suspect something is wrong)  
> \- Det ligger en hund begraven – There’s a dog buried here (Swedish; there's something more to it/someone isn't telling the complete truth)  
> \- Когда рак на горе свистнет - When the lobster whistles upon the mountain (Russian; when pigs fly)  
> \- 目の中に入れても痛くない - it wouldn't hurt even if you put them in your eye (Japanese; expresses adoration, especially of a child or grandchild)  
> \- 目の上のたんこぶ - a lump above my eye (Japanese; someone is this if they are standing in your way)  
> \- 腹を割って話す - to speak with your belly cut open (Japanese; to tell the whole truth)
> 
> Sources were:  
> https://matadornetwork.com/notebook/20-funniest-japanese-expressions-use/  
> http://lostinstockholm.com/2013/05/31/13-hilarious-swedish-idioms/  
> The wikipedia for Russian idioms


	7. AU (May 7)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I accidentally a bad harry potter au

Sakura allowed the wave of students to pull her into the Great Hall. She knew she should be exhausted; yesterday had been spent in Diagon Alley, wandering through shops with Syaoran and Tomoyo for so long her feet hurt, then today had been a bustle of final preparations and a long ride on the Hogwarts Express. By all means Sakura should have been exhausted, but she was too excited and nervous to notice. It was time to be sorted into her house.

With the Gryffindor Head of House, Professor Soma, leading, the first-years traveled down the Great Hall, gaping at the ceiling and the long tables filled with returning students. They faltered to a halt at the foot of the professors’ table; in front of the steps sat a stool, and on the stool was the hat.

“Greetings, First-Years!” Professor Ichihara, the headmaster, rose from her seat. She was adorned in a beautiful patterned robe, the colorful butterflies standing out among her colleagues’ muted earthen tones. “And welcome to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry!” 

The students surrounding Sakura cheered, and she raised her hands to clap politely, unable to keep herself from grinning. 

“What house do you want to be sorted into?” Tomoyo whispered as the applause died out.

“Not Slytherin,” Syaoran replied quickly. Sakura nodded in agreement.

“Not Slytherin,” she added, “but I don’t know what I want. I don’t know what will be the right choice.” 

“I have a few simple announcements to make before the sorting can commence.” Professor Ichihara smiled pragmatically, folding her manicured hands. “First off, I would like all students to be aware that in light of recent events, the West Wing will be closed for repairs. And as always, I expect all our returning students to be as mentors and role models to our newest additions.” A cheer rang around the hall. “And with that, my First-Years,” Yuuko smirked, “sort!”

“Watanuki Kimihiro!” Professor Soma called. A lanky boy emerged from the crowd and sat on the stool stiffly.

“Ravenclaw!” The hat shouted. A bespectacled professor at the main table was nodding in approval.

“Who’s that?” Sakura leaned over to whisper her question to Tomoyo, who, as the daughter of a professor herself, seemed to know all about the staff of Hogwarts.

“Professor Rondart,” Tomoyo returned. “Ravenclaw Head of House. I don’t know much about him, but I got his card today in a chocolate frog. He’s muggle-born and he studied potions, but he’s actually the herbology teacher.”

“Who teaches potions instead?” Syaoran asked, leaning into join the conversation as another student was sorted into Ravenclaw. Tomoyo pointed to a young man who, while paying close attention to the sorting, appeared to be simultaneously engaged in some kind of unspoken drinking contest with Professor Ichihara.

“Professor Fluorite,” she said. “He’s the Slytherin Head of House. This is only his third year teaching.”

“Slytherin?” Sakura echoed. “I thought that was where the bad wizards went.” Professor Fluorite was very young, and about as tall as Professor Ichihara when seated, with pale hair and stunning blue eyes. His body language was relaxed, but watchful, and he had something of a benevolent look as he listened to students being sorted, one by one. A white cat was padding around the table, nudging him occasionally for a rub behind the ears. This man couldn’t be the Slytherin Head.

“Witches and wizards in Slytherin aren’t bad,” Tomoyo replied. “It’s just most bad wizards came from Slytherin. My mother hasn’t talked to Professor Fluorite much but she says he’s a very talented wizard. His cat had kittens with Professor Ichihara’s black cat over the summer.”

“Are they...together?” Syaoran asked. “Ichihara and Fluorite?”

Tomoyo shook her head. “He doesn't...no. They aren’t. They’re very good friends, though,” she added. “Professor Ichihara has known Professor Fluorite since he was very young.” Sakura personally thought Professor Ichihara didn’t look much older than Professor Fluorite, but she kept the thought to herself.

“Tomoyo Daidouji,” Professor Soma called. Tomoyo waved and strode up to the stool. The sorting hat sat on her head for a matter of seconds before placing her in Ravenclaw. Sakura and Syaoran whooped and cheered.

“I still can’t believe that Professor Fluorite is the Slytherin Head of House,” Sakura muttered to Syaoran.

“Me neither,” a young boy standing nearby interjected bitterly. The boy was called up next and promptly sorted into Slytherin.

“What’s more unbelievable,” a red-haired girl behind Sakura whispered, “is Professor Kurogane. What house do you think that man is in?” Sakura followed the girl’s pointing finger to a tall, broad-shouldered man seated beside Professor Fluorite.

“Gryffindor?” Syaoran chanced.

“He’s the Hufflepuff Head of House,” the girl corrected him, proud that she had outsmarted a fellow classmate. “And he teaches Defense Against the Dark Arts.”

Sakura giggled. “He looks so angry, though. How could he be a Hufflepuff?”

“Houses don’t choose a type of person, Sakura,” Syaoran said. “People are chosen for houses based on the traits they value. In Professor Kurogane’s case, those traits are probably loyalty, justice and hard work. Professor Fluorite likely values his resources and acquaintances and knows how to use a situation to his benefit. Beyond that, a house can have any kind of person, no matter how they look or act.”

“So everyone is placed in the house they want?” Sakura inquired.

“Not necessarily, but everyone is placed in the house that is right for them.”

“Sakura Kinomoto!” Soma called out. Sakura froze, and Syaoran gave her a reassuring nudge. She strode up to the bench with all the confidence she could muster, felt the heavy leather hat rest on the crown of her head, heard its voice in her mind, calculating. It was over before she knew it.

“Gryffindor!” The hat cried. Sakura grinned and hurried to join the table where her older brother was already seated.

“Good job, Monster,” Toya smirked, ruffling her hair, and Sakura puffed up proudly. This was the right choice. A few students later, Syaoran cas called up, and he joined the Gryffindor table himself shortly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos are sweet, but comments are sweeter!


	8. Otp (May 8)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This went a direction I wasn't ready for it to but I just let it be what it wanted because God know I'm not in charge of this train
> 
> This is, how our ancestors would say, lemon-scented, and there's some language and also drinking

Kurogane nearly fell out of his chair (which he had perched precariously on its two hind legs to recline) as Fai dumped a wooden crate on the table.  _ Loudly. _ As it was, he dropped his magazine, and turned to glower at the slighter man.

“Keep it down, would you? The kids are sleeping.” Kurogane bent over to snap the magazine up off the cold tile, and when he resurfaced, Fai had removed several bottles from the crate. He scooted the chair next to Kurogane out,  _ loudly, _ and plunked himself down. “What’s this?” Kurogane asked dispassionately.

“Liquor,” Fai replied, half-smirking. “The man at the general store talked me into buying it. Want a drink, Kuro-chi?”

“Hell no. I’ve seen you drunk.” Kurogane set his magazine down and drummed his fingers on the table. “No thanks.”

“But that’s not the question I asked you, Kuro-sama. I asked if you wanted a drink.  _ I’m _ going to drink whether you want to or not.” He flicked a small blade out of seemingly nowhere--Kurogane assumed he was carrying it on him for self-defense, as this world was not the friendliest they’d stayed in--and de-corked one of the bottles. He seemingly couldn’t be bothered with glasses or cups, and lifted the entire bottle to his lips and drank deeply.

Guh. “I  _ need  _ a drink if this means babysitting you,” Kurogane muttured. “Give it here.” Fai wordlessly complied and Kurogane lifted the bottle for a swig, quickly recoiling in disgust. “This is  _ terrible _ ,” he informed the other man, who shrugged.

“I didn’t say it was  _ good.  _ It was really cheap. If you don’t want it, give it back.” Kurogane had a sneaking suspicion that Fai would probably drink rubbing alcohol if it was all he had on hand, but didn’t voice it, and returned the bottle. After a few more gulps--and that’s what they were,  _ gulps _ \--Fai looked up mischievously. “They’re all different flavors, you know, Kuro-chan,” he said. “We’ve got time. I think we should try them all.”

***

He didn’t know how it had happened. They’d been drinking that horrid liquor, and talking, and  _ maybe  _ the conversation had verged on personal. Then Fai had leaned in a little too close, and Kurogane had allowed it, and Fai had gotten a little touchy, and Kurogane had, for some godsforsaken reason,  _ still _ allowed it, and then Fai had crawled into Kurogane’s  _ lap,  _ and the two of them had gone tumbling back, Kurogane’s chair finally clattering against the tile. He rolled off to the side, and Fai followed, pinning him against the floor.

“What are you  _ doing? _ ” Kurogane hissed. “The kids are gonna wake up!”

“They’re fine,” Fai replied breathlessly. Then Fai leaned down and kissed him right on the mouth.  _ Hard. _

Kurogane’s brain flatlined for a moment, fully unable to process the situation. So, yes, they were both drunk. It took a lot to get him drunk, but they’d had a lot _. _ And now his back was pressed against the cold floor and his front was pressed against Fai’s warm chest and Fai was kissing him and it was warm and tasted like shitty alcohol, and maybe it was for all of those reasons that Kurogane didn’t really fight it, just let it happen. Maybe it was just the alcohol that made him suddenly tilt his head up and kiss back.

Fai hummed when Kurogane responded, pressing against him further and pinning his wrists against the tile. Kurogane ground up a little bit, and Fai ground down a little bit, and Kurogane  _ bit  _ down on Fai’s bottom lip. The mage exhaled and pulled away.

Kurogane’s head cleared a little then, as they rested, faces inches from each other, breathing heavily. “What are you doing,” he repeated. “We can’t do this here.”

Fai blinked, then leaned down and kissed gently along his jawline. “We can,” he murmured into his ear. “I plan to.”

“You’re going to regret this,” Kurogane growled, tilting his head away. Fai’s mouth followed. “Think for a minute, dumbass. What happens if we fuck in the middle of the kitchen right now. What happens if we fuck at  _ all?  _ I don’t think you really want to do this.”

Fai paused where he had been busy sucking a hickey into Kurogane’s neck. “I know,” he whispered. His voice sounded small and broken. His breath was warm, and tickled, and Kurogane was reminded again of their proximity. 

“We’re not doing this,” Kurogane decided, and rolled over, dumping Fai on the tile, not missing the hurt that flashed through his eyes. Kurogane offered the mage a hand, which he took.

“I can make my own decisions, you know, Kuro-rin,” Fai said lightly, brushing the wrinkles out of his shirt. “You don’t need to look out for me. You know, I’m much more capable than I seem!” But he was already picking up the bottles, some empty, some half-full. His voice seemed to rise an octave with each statement, and his cheer wasn’t quite convincing.

“You’re drunk, mage,” Kurogane growled, moving to help him. “And you can make decisions, but that doesn't mean I like ‘em.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That was probably a lot more angst than this prompt required but I'll make up for it on Kurofai day.
> 
> Kudos are sweet, but comments are sweeter!


End file.
